Kate Diehl Photography Blog

Kindergarten.

It seems like yesterday that this sweet China Doll was placed in my arms. How is it possibly time to send her to school? I knew it would be hard for me, but I wasn’t prepared for multiple breakdowns. As the days grew closer, memories filled my head. First words, favorite dresses, hair bows the size of Texas, sweet songs she would make up and sing in my ear, conversations with Jesus on her pretend telephone….she’s been such a blessing in my life. And now, I have to share her with the world. For most of her day, she is with someone else instead of me and it makes me so sad. I know it’s time and she’s so ready to spread her wings. On a positive note, I am really excited to watch this child grow and I know she’ll do so well in school.

I planned a few years ago, this photo session that I wanted to do with Luci right before she went off to school. Big floppy hats, pearls, and mommy’s high heel shoes. The epitome of my daughter.

I can start by saying that I’m so very sorry for leaving everyone without an update about Stella’s journey home.  I’ve received emails asking how we’re doing and how Stella is adjusting.  I think in the beginning, I really just needed to take a step back and process this little girl.  Not traveling to Ethiopia myself made it difficult for me to connect the dots from her not being here, to BAM!, she’s here.  Trying to find the words to express my feelings over the last few months has been difficult.  Each time I would even consider coming on here to write, I’d find myself exhausted just thinking about it.

As I’ve said before, it’s been a long and stressful journey to our daughter.  Nothing has gone as planned, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when we had to change our travel plans.  It was so frustrating to be almost there, almost at the finish line, and then have to make the decision to stay behind.  Disappointing.  If we had it to do again, Brian still would have gone, but ideally, we wish we had gone together.  The first few days of Stella’s homecoming was difficult for me.  I expected Stella to be attached to Brian and she was.  Not shocking, but still hard on a new mother wanting so desperately to hold the baby I’ve waited so long for.   I think what surprised me the most was that I had no interest in hearing about Brian’s travels right away.  I mean, of course I wanted to hear every last detail, but when he first got home, all I could handle was trying to connect with Stella.  Adding to it overwhelmed me…not wanting to hear made me feel guilty.  Brian shared his story in small doses.  It took me even longer to look at photos and video of Stella’s family.  Compartmentalizing everything has helped me sort through these last 4 years.  Still not sure why that’s so, but it’s keeping me from being consumed by the vastness of it all.  Hoping that I’m making sense.  Another downer is that Brian and I have been sick this past month.  Stella had giardia (a parasite) and it was passed to us.  For those of you that know what I’m talking about, you’re nodding your head in pity.  For those that don’t know what giardia is, well…it’s not pretty.  Thankfully, we were really careful trying to keep everything as sterile as possible.  We’re so happy that the kids didn’t get it.  It’s just been in the last two days that I’ve started to feel like myself again.  Ugh.  I’ll leave it at that.

OK, enough of that.  About Stella….  Stella is AMAZING!  She is the sweetest, cuddle-bug I know.  It’s quite clear that her nannies loved her.  She’s perfectly content being held and rocked.  I love the way she burrows into my chest trying to get as close to me as possible.  She took her first step a few days after she was home and now she’s a walking machine!  She has quickly gained her balance and she can walk across a room like nobody’s business!  We’re in so much trouble!  I hate baby-proofing my home, so we have to keep a close eye on her.  Her guilty pleasure: the remote control.  Why do babies love the remote control so much?  She knows to grab it as soon as we leave the room.  If she’s caught, she tries to run away as fast as she can….so naughty!  It took a few days to flip her sleep schedule, but she’s now sleeping through the night.  Problem is naps during the day.  The girl refuses to nap!  How can a 13 month old baby NOT need a nap?  I don’t get a break in my day and it’s literally driving me crazy.  I’ve got to fix that so any suggestions would be wonderful!  Other than that, she’s an absolute joy and a perfect addition to our family.  Luci adores being a big sister.  I think the 4 year age difference makes it nice for Luci because there’s very little competition for her.  She loves being called Little Momma and is such a big helper.

So, I’m making changes.  Bad news:  I’m ending Green Grass Grows.  Good news: This blog will now be my photography blog.  Now that our adoption is over, I thought it would be appropriate to do some bloggy housecleaning and merge this blog into my photography business blog.  I’ll continue to write and if the subject matter is sensitive or private,  I’ll password protect entries.  I think Green Grass Grows has slowly evolved into a photography blog anyway, so I don’t feel so sad about it.  For now, you’ll be able to still get to this blog by: greengrassgrowsblog.com  as well as my new address: katediehlphotographyblog.com    Stay tuned for a new look! 

That’s it for now.  I really could go into further detail about my thoughts over the last few weeks, but I think I’ll leave it at that for now.  I guess in the end, I got what we’ve worked so hard for.  A sweet baby to love.  We are so very blessed and we are grateful for our family.   Thanks to those who have followed me over the years.  I appreciate all the sweet comments and sentiments.  Love to all.